"When It All Falls Apart"
The Veronicas

I'm having the day from hell,
It was all going so well (before you came)
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face (not again)
And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream

Cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Don't know where I parked my car
Don't know who my real friends are (anymore)
I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours)
And not to mention (I drank too much)
I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch)
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream

Cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
Cause it just seems to go bad everytime
Will I be mending?
Another one ending once again

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No



"Gone Gone Gone"
John Ralston

Lately you’ve been acting in a role that’s unbecoming
Of the girl who taught me there was so much in this world worth living.
The part that you’ve been playing has me dazed and missing you.
But now you’re gone, gone, gone.

The promise never harvested in fallow fields shall lie.
In a shallow grave of stubble field and half-remembered lies.
A burning heart deceived me and you really put me on,
But now you’re gone, gone, gone.

The memories are bittersweet;
The taste you leave is still stuck in my mouth.
I want to touch you, want to breathe you,
Say, "Fuck you I don’t need you - get out...right now."

We were strangers when we met and we were strangers when you left
Into a shadow world of painted girls and marionettes.
Used to pride myself on living a life without any regrets,
But now that’s gone, gone, gone.

How can such sweet kisses come from such a poison tongue?
How can a bed of roses hurt so much to lie upon?
It was the thorn beneath the flower that I wasn’t counting on.
And now you’re gone, gone, gone.

The memories are bittersweet;
The taste you leave is still stuck in my mouth.
I want to touch you, want to breathe you,
Say, "Fuck you I don’t need you - get out...right now."

The city’s not the same, But all the streets they know your name.
They ask me all about you, but my answers pull up lame.
I’m staggering in last night’s clothes and it’s starting to rain.
And you are gone, gone, gone.

If parted by a river that was running deep and wide,
I’d build a boat to get to you or else I’d drink it dry.
Could fill it back up right now as the tears fall from my eyes.
And you are gone, gone, gone.

The memories are bittersweet;
The taste you leave is still stuck in my mouth.
I want to touch you, want to breathe you,
Say, "Fuck you I don’t need you - get out...right now."

Babe if we should meet again way on down the road.
Do me this one favor and pretend we never knowed.
I’ll say that you remind me of a girl I knew so long ago,
But now she’s gone, gone, gone.

Congrats Italy, but **good onya Aussies!!**

Originally posted yesterday on my 360 page...

Before I talk about that, let me digress a moment - just got back from tanning, and I can already tell it’s a HUGE difference today. I’m not even done developing yet. lol You know that fancy schmancy lotion I toldja about? I’m running out of it, so the other day I got the same thing only in a level 2. Talk about advanced. Whoa. Like I told a friend the other day, I’m gonna look Puerto Rican soon. :)

So I watched the FIFA match #53 today (Australia v. Italy). Things were okay until the last 3 minutes or so - at that point it was still 0:0 and looked like it would be a draw; but Italy won a penalty (which was bunk), and so they ended up winning - yes, for those of you who don’t know by now, it took a penalty kick to win. Can we say “fakers?" I’m not sure about the Cup, but Italy sure deserves an Oscar. Some Italy fans were saying they rocked because they were a man down. Heh, excuse me? They were playing with 11 - don’t forget to count the ref. :: shaking head :: It’s a pity when the ref decides the game instead of the players. Who cares if you win if you have no dignity? So my summary is this:

*The Aussies won the world’s respect, while Italy only won a game.*

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200606/s1672404.htm
http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/06/en/w/mcast/mc.html?id=53

http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com//06/en/w/match/template.html?id=53&year=2006&month=06&day=26

http://sports.yahoo.com/sow/news?slug=ap-wcup-italy-australia&prov=ap&type=lgns

I love the smell of gasoline

Originally posted on my 360 page on Sunday June 18, 2006 at 0802 CDT.

I wish you could post in more fonts. Oh well.

So I'm listening to Mudvayne. Have you guys heard of them? I know you local peeps have. They're from ratch'ere in Peoria. I remember when they were just playing around here. I'm pretty sure Chad Gray, the lead vocalist, did one of my tats - he used to work at I'm No Angel Tattoos; that's where I got half of mine done. Anyway it's kind of cool actually knowing people and watching them get "big." They have a Myspace page plus a “real“ website, www.mudvayne.com. Their site says, “They’ve sold more than two million units worldwide and racked up four RIAA Gold-certified releases. They’ve garnered extensive radio and video airplay and were honored with the first-ever MTV2 Award. They’ve played hundreds of sold-out shows around the world and have been featured in the pages of Rolling Stone, Revolver, Entertainment Weekly, Newsweek, Blender, Maxim, Spin, Guitar World, USA Today and a myriad of others. They were even written into a pivotal episode of HBOs smash mafia drama The Sopranos. For most artists, such achievements usually mark the summation of an entire career - if they’re lucky. Mudvayne, however, did all that in just three short years…” My favorites by them are "Forget to Remember" (anyone seen Saw II?), "Fall Into Sleep" and "Happy."

Speaking of Peoria, did anyone go to Steamboat Days? I didn’t, but my dad took the spouse and Christine. She came home telling me about all the rides she went on (including bumper cars, which I wouldn‘t let her ride in until this year because I didn‘t want her to get whiplash, being so small, lol), it was so cute. She’s gonna be a little carnie lover. lol Nah, not really. But her mommy loves rides, too. I love the fastest and wildest of them all, especially at Six Flags; does anyone remember when the Shockwave came out? I waited in line three hours to ride it that year. lol (Since I lived in Naperville, we went to the one in Gurnee, IL.) Then when the Batman ride was new I remember going on that one, at Six Flags in St. Louis, MO. That’s pretty sweet, your feet dangle in the air. Heh. My friend Isaac reminded me a few weeks ago about how when we were in class (HS) one day I was telling him about how when I went there I saw this little East Indian girl, fully clothed, casually squatting and peeing on the ground; I guess I got loud, and the teacher got miffed. lol I’ve been to Disney World too, but unfortunately I don’t remember all that much about it, or about the rides I went on (bit of family trauma going on at that time in my life - I was 14). Anyway, I do have sensitive ears/equilibrium, but interestingly I’ve never gotten the least bit nauseous from any ride, ever. Gotta love it! The only thing I hate about roller coasters and other vigorous rides is the pansy females who constantly scream the entire time. I mean, does that really help? Does it make the ride end sooner? Just what does it do for ya there, girlie? Gimme a break. :: rolling eyes, shaking head ::

Hey so check out the new pics on my myspace page - www.myspace.com/hesavedme78. Y'know, I remember when I first started tanning in tanning beds (which was a year or two after I started tanning outdoors, which was when I was 12), you (or at least I, a Scandinavian vampire) had to go at least 12 to 14 times to get anything decent. But now, look at this! This is after FOUR runs, guys. Four!! You totally get your money's worth now. The technology of the beds/lamps and the lotions* makes tanning so much quicker and easier. A Norwegian clown like me's gotta love it!

*Check this out, this is a trip, all big time 'n s***:
"California Tan Ionyx / Golden Accelerator Time - Release Ionic Technology Tanning Lotion
Performance Ingredients:
Accelerators - Vitatan 200 ~ TyroStan
Firmers - Caffeine ~ Skin Tighteners
Anti-Oxidants - Grape Seed Oil ~ Vitamin E
Delivery System:
Ion Therapy featuring Cationic Protein
Hydration: Time-release hydration technology"

(yes it cost a pretty penny, but look what it did! lol)

If you have MSN Messenger, be sure to download their Live beta 8.0 version as well as Plus!, which gives you more “stuff.” What I found amusing is that among the options is an “activate boss protection shortcut,” for which the description reads “this shortcut instantly hides every messenger window when pressed. This is useful if you're in a situation where you're not supposed to be participating in online conversations.” lmao What an unorthodox cyber tool!

Have you guys heard about this? It sounds fun, but I wouldn’t want to pay taxes on it, lol. But check out some of the funny comments people made: http://www.autoblog.com/2006/06/13/shiver-me-timbers-volvo-launches-treasure-hunt-for-buried-suv

Song download recommendation for the day: “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry. It’s not something that probably took more than 5 minutes to write, but I love it just the same. lol

Website recommendation for the day: www.allofmp3.com. You can buy an entire album here for like, a little over a buck. Of course, you can just buy individual tracks too, for like an average of 10 cents. You also have your choice of bitrate, which thrills me (doesn’t take much). They don’t have everything on there (it’s Russian, but don’t worry, everything is in English), but they have at least the top 100 in many genres plus lots of movie scores & soundtracks, too. And they’re prolly adding more stuff constantly as its popularity grows.

Sayonara!

I hate the smell of soy and pollies

Originally posted on my 360 page on Saturday June 10, 2006 at 0747 CDT.

I canNOT believe Yahoo lost my photo albums. I know that I am not the only one who has had problems with Yahoo the last two weeks. I hope they get their act together. There is no way I can remember the titles, descriptions, and captions within all of the (five!) albums I had. Two of them I just put up, like 72 hours ago. I'm quite irritated.

Speaking of being vexed, it would please me to refer you to the following article: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/06/09/congress.iraq.katrina.ap/index.html. I sincerely hope that no one on this entire planet can keep a straight face and say they can't understand how the United States could be so much in debt. May I make comments on a few particular snippets? Thanks.

I. “Lawmakers added funding to upgrade Abrams tanks and Bradley fighting vehicles for National Guard troops and nearly doubled the Pentagon request for new, better-armored Humvees.”

.....Now do you suppose that anyone has done a study to determine whether the military and human value of possible injuries reduced and lives saved as a result of having the better-armored Hummers will be equivocal to an amount greater than their cost to build and deliver?

II. “The bill also contains funding for controversial, accident-prone V-22 Osprey tilt-rotor aircraft for deployment to Iraq, as well as more popular C-130 cargo planes.”

.....That’s right folks, in America, a toy company can be sued an arm and a leg for one human injury as a result of, say, a sharp part being exposed during the handling of a toy - which the toy company knew nothing about prior to distribution. But it’s perfectly okay to PAY an arm and a leg (out of the taxpayers’ money) for something that is KNOWN to have problems and would quite obviously harm MORE THAN ONE individual with its malfunctions. “Truth, justice and the American Way,” right?

III. “The bill contains $19.8 billion in new money for hurricane relief along the Gulf Coast, including housing aid and flood control projects for Louisiana, small-business disaster loans, rebuilding federal facilities and replenishing Federal Emergency Management Agency disaster relief coffers."

.....A) Okay wait, housing aid? So, absolutely none of the $60 BILLION given to Katrina victims a month after it happened went toward finding them a new place to live? That's an awful lot of soap and peanut butter.

..........1. “Early in September, Congress authorized a total of $62.3 billion in aid for victims.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Katrina#Government_response)

..........2. “Additionally, President Bush enlisted the help of former presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush to raise additional voluntary contributions.” (same link as above)

..........3. “Since September, the Presidents have raised approximately $115 million; awarded 42 grants, and disbursed more than $53 million through April 30, 2006.” (http://www.bushclintonkatrinafund.org)

.....B) Yes, I’m sure all federal agencies are completely broke now, since they never get money from Uncle Sam any other time - as evidenced by things like the spectacular job benefits most government employees receive as well as the as-modernized-as-possible facilities they work in.

IV. “The agreement caps weeks of mostly behind-the-scenes talks on Capitol Hill over how to balance lawmakers' hopes for additional hurricane relief…”

.....And why, you ask, would the lawmakers be hoping for additional hurricane relief? I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.

V. “The Senate-passed version of the bill had exceeded Bush's request by more than $14 billion…”

.....Oh, really? What interest would the Senate have in how much money… Oh, wait. I think we need to look at section IV again.

VI. “GOP Sens. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania and Mike DeWine of Ohio sided with Democrats on a House-Senate negotiating committee to insist on $7 billion in additional money on top of Bush's $873 billion cap for the upcoming annual spending bills…. They wanted to dedicate the $7 billion to health and education programs; the White House and House GOP leaders were dead set against the idea. ‘Period,’ said House Majority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio. ‘These are things I care very much about, education and children's health issues,’ DeWine said. But DeWine and Specter were overruled when Inoue (Sen., D - HI) and Landrieu (Sen., D - LA) signed on to the agreement.”

.....Yes, let’s NOT spend money on giving our children and young people healthier childhoods and better educations - that way we can feel more at ease putting them in the cockpits of accident-prone combat planes.

More than any drug could EVER do for me...

Originally posted on my 360 page on Thursday June 8, 2006 at 2155 CDT...

Ahhhhhh… So I went tanning this evening. I hadn’t been for a few years, and I’d forgotten how good it feels. It was kind of a whim yesterday when I stopped in to buy a package and a bottle of overpriced (but very effective) lotion - but I soooo needed it. It was like…a release. The intense, close warmth of the bulbs, and the breeze from the fan at the foot of the bed, and the feel of my circulation increasing, and the sweat forming at the small of my back, and the smell of the lotion on my skin reacting to the UV, and the oxygen swirling around me, and the melanin production (lol)... It was simply divine.

…And then something funny happened. When I got to the corner where I should have turned to go home, instead I went straight. You know what I did? I rolled down the windows the rest of the way, I turned up the stereo which was on the classic rock station, and I went for a ride. The car’s temperature thing said 78, which is the best number there is , and my skin was still hot and radiating that sweet after-tan aura, and my hair was disheveled and free, and I had my sweet independence, and I just had to... …I don’t think I’ve breathed that deeply for months. Seeing the cars, the people, the lights of the places, the Thursday night stuff going on, feeling the wind blowing through my hair, it was great. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, what did I hear but the first few chords of “Crazy Train.” Yyyyessss.

There was one thing that could have made it better. But that’s a whole ‘nother story. ;)~

Life............
............is............
........................GOOOOOOOOOOD........................

Les voyelles et consonnes d'un cœur de la femme...

...And other jewels from my tortured mind lol

Did you know that “crapulent” means very drunk, or otherwise sick from overindulgence? lol Can you imagine how junior high kids would react if their English teacher put that word on a vocabulary test? (…I just thought I’d enrich your life with that tidbit - etymological freak that I am.)

‘Nother thing I’ve been thinking about today is the fact that a few days ago Mt. St. Helens cleared her throat. See http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory?id=2018202&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312 and http://www.theolympian.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060530/NEWS06/60530031. Smoke and ash 16,000 - 20,000 feet in the air, 3.1 quake, “large rockfall from the lava dome,“ etc. It’s closed to climbing now, you know? Interesting stuff. …Uhhh...You fellow yanks knew about this too, right? I mean, this is your own country’s geological formations and activities we’re talking about here… Sure. Okay.

Have you guys seen/heard of MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000)? www.mst3kinfo.com It’s basically a show where two bots and a guy make (hilarious) commentary on b-movies, while their own story progresses. There's an intermission and a couple of commercials, but just enough "segment hosting" to get you involved in their story. Kind of like “Dinner & A Movie” only much better, and without the continuing saga. lol They haven’t made new ones since 2004, but you can still join their “fan club.“ I got some info from them the other day, and among other things was a list of the 300 or so movies they did. Some of these titles are hilarious. …Of course I had to amuse myself with making taglines and/or comments after them to whet my appetite for completion (lol), but the titles themselves are not mine. Check these out:

Kitten With a Whip - Watch out for those hissy fits.

When I Held Your Brain in My Arms - A poignant story of cerebral caresses.

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank - Collections, recollections, and insufficiencies in both.

Attack of the Giant Leeches - You know, they sure do suck (what?! It’s a b-movie for cripes sake).

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - How he really got the technology to make that sleigh fly.

The Incredible Melting Man - I can’t even think of anything for this one until I figure out how he got himself back together. It bothers me. Kitty litter, perhaps? No, that’s all wrong. A Jell-o mold and refrigeration?

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies - Chronicling the lives of fast food restaurant drive-thru employees.

Parts: The Clonus Horror - Know someone with Tourette’s syndrome, or even just coprolalia?* Watch this, and you’ll never complain again.

The Dead Talk Back: A Date With Your Family - And don’t miss the spellbinding sequel, The Dead Eat Cake - Scenes of Deadded Bliss.

Bloodlust: Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm - A startling behind-the-scenes look at the “Good Cheese Comes From Happy Cows, Happy Cows Come From California” commercials. Guest starring several prominent members of PETA.

*Coprolalia means, literally, “talking s***.” It’s “the uncontrolled, often obsessive use of obscene or scatological language that may accompany certain mental disorders, such as Tourette's syndrome.”

I’m glad someone reads these blogs. Haha, jk. Je m’en branle.

Zut! Je suis dans un de ces merdiers, moi alors! C'est un peu déprimant. Peut-être je suis mal foutu. Peut-être je suis une conne. Mais devinez-quoi? J'ai trouvé la perle, l'oiseau rare et sans prix - un trésor. Je suis mordue de lui, j'ai lui dans la peau. Écoutez-moi, quel pitoyable! De toute façon, au fond, il a pris mon cœur. ...Mais il m'allumé! Il fait des ravages! lol …Bien, non pas vraiment. Mais cela est qu'il se sent. Merde! Tu sais, je ne peux pas le croire, vraiment. J'pige quedale à c'situation, moi. Évidement, maintenant je suis de souffrance beaucoup. Pourquoi est-ce que me j'ai permis tomber amoureuse de quelqu'un qui ne me veut pas? Il m’aime - il a me dit - mais c’est outre le point. Correct? :: hhhh :: Pourquoi est-ce que je suis stupide? Comment pourrait quelqu'un qui est parfait pour moi n'échange pas même un petit morceau? Je suis confondu. Je pense, rien qu'à l'idée de ne jamais être avec lui, mon cœur se brise en mille morceaux. C'est sur le sol pour tout le monde marcher sur. Qu'est-ce que j'ai que je ne peux pas tomber amoureuse de mon mari? Qu'est-ce que j'ai que je ne le veux pas dans la façon que je veux cette autre certaine personne? Il a tout je veux. Tout! Il n'a pas d'idée comment heureux je le ferais. Je veux le dire. Je veux le montrer. Il serait stupéfait. C'est... C'est moche, vraiment. Comment je me remettre de ceci? J'ai pensé que j'ai été fait ayant mon cœur cassé. Comment est-ce que je suis arrêter penser de lui constamment? Comment est-ce que je suis arrêter adorer lui? Est-il possible même? Mon Dieu! Je suis profondement amoureuse de lui, et non seulement est-ce qu'il ne sait pas à quel point, mais de plus il ne l’est pas au point d’être (vraiment) avec moi, à cause de la distance entre nous. Je suis tellement amoureuse de lui que je perds sommeil. Seigneur, quoi fais-je maintenant? Pourquoi fais-je trop confiance aux gens? Pourquoi est-ce que je donne mon amour librement et intensément? J'ai su qu'il n'a pas senti la façon pareil de moi, mais je ne pourrais pas m'arrêter. Il est trop parfait. Est-ce que je jamais trouverai ou trouvé par l'une dont la vie est je suis supposé pour compléter? Ou il jamais verra que la lumière et change d'avis? Oh, que je veux mourir. Je me sens horrible. Je me sens sans valeur. Je suis vraiment désolé pour aimer lui. Je suis désolé pour voir tout qui est parfait de lui. Je regrette de rêver de comment nous serions incroyables ensemble. Je ne peux pas continuer comme ceci. Quand est-ce que ces blessures guériront? Jamais? :: hhhh :: Un de ces jours... Ceci est trop pénible. J'en ai assez. J'en peux plus! Est-ce que quelqu'un m'aidera s'il vous plaît? lol Je sais, je sais. ...Encore, je sais que mon français est mauvais. Et encore, je m'en branle.

I posted this originally on my 360 page on Monday June 5, 2006 at 1843 CST. What I said in French above has changed slightly... Things are much better now... ;)~

Do not begin reading this without a clear exit strategy!

Thanks to "The Usual Gang of Suspects" for that one, lol... Please read this that I posted on Saturday June 3, 2006 at 0658 CST...

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-WpRfQDU7fra0lhqN7Ww-?cq=1&l=16&u=20&mx=92&lmt=5&p=179

Vowels & consonants of motherhood, part 2

So I was in the bathroom doing my hair, and Christine came in to talk to me... I noticed she was kind of chewing. Here’s a transcript from memory of the exchange that took place, about three hours ago - she is the first to speak:

“I like those still.”

“Like what?”

“Those ice cream cones.”

“What ice cream cones?”

“The ones that we have.”

“What? Where'd you get an ice cream cone?”

“We still had some.”

“Does daddy know you had one?”

“No.”

“Did you ask if you could have one?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn't ask me.”

“Well, can I have one?”

“Didn't you just tell me you already had one?”

“No.”

“Yes you did.”

“Well, can I have another one?”

LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!

Then, in an entirely different episode, she smacked her father (it wasn‘t that hard, but it‘s the principle of the thing). We’ve been working on this, that you can’t smack people. So I spanked her. Guess what she did then? The little nut bit me! Check out the pic! (It's my wrist.) And this, my friends, is why many comedians found their calling after they became parents.

Listening to "Can't Stop" - MoZella

And now, the vowels & consonants of motherhood

...So I walk in the kitchen, and what do I immediately discover? I'm walking in water. Not just a puddle here and there, but about 25 ft² of it. I ask my (4½-year-old) daughter what's up, and she says, "I mopped."

Isn't it funny how kids take some things really seriously? For example, when we're watching a movie in the bedroom (where the BIG TV is lol), like there'll be a stuffed Pooh on the bed. She'll come over and put him upright, saying with just a bit of exasperation, "You know, he has to sit up to see." Right on.

Then sometimes she'll go through her old books - the kid has so many, she goes through new ones like I do - and since ABCs are extremely old hat to her, now she has to analyze the illustrations. The other day it was "U is for umbrellas...That do NOT stand up by themselves... ::sigh:: X is for the X-ray machine that that rabbit really shouldn't be messing with..."

The other day we're watching - surprise, surprise - "Dora." Dora and Boots are on the bridge over a river, and Dora is lowering a line so she can retrieve, I dunno, a boot or something, from the water. So Christine gets this concerned look on her face and goes, "Wait, does she have her fishing license?"

And then there are the times when things that AREN'T toys are PLAYED WITH as toys. And Mommy gets upset. Like, the portable DVD player that I bought for the car. (Okay, it's a minivan, but I hate that word, it makes me sound so "barefoot and pregnant." It's a 2005 Dodge Caravan SXT. It's not a kid wagon. Ayeayeaye!) Do you know what happened to it? Heh, neither do I. But it doesn't spin now. I mean, it doesn't read DVDs anymore. It cost as much as, like, 10 hours of work, to get that thing.

Anyway, I just wanted to share. Kids are a riot.

This little light of mine...

Check out the difference between pre-soleil and after only going tanning four times. Yahoo! lol

It’s not ALL about sex though, is it?

I posted this on my 360 page too, but I thought I'd spread the love. lol

Psychoanalysis rocks. I do it to myself all the time (well, the interpretation part, not the therapy, lol). But I wanna know if y'all think behavior and personality are as related to biology as Freud thought... How ‘bout it, peeps? I personally don’t think so. I do think a lot of character traits can be/are shaped by experiences (read: psychic trauma) during our childhood/formative years, but I don’t think everything is based on infantile libidinous development. Sex as gender probably has a lot to do with it , but I don’t think it’s phylogenetic. The Oedipus complex (read Greek mythology, it’s very interesting) may very well be universal, but I’m sure some people never experience it and for sure don’t have any “unconscious guilt” about it; if anything is born of it, perhaps some other unconscious mental processes - but not necessarily guilt. However I do agree that free association can be beneficial if you know how to properly channel its manifestation(s). I know from personal experience that “undischarged" emotional energy can be quite detrimental... Of course, again, whether this conversion is sexual in nature depends on a number of factors... It’s NOT all about that, Sigmund. lol

Have I told you guys on here that I'm a lyric freak? hahahaha

…Do as you are told and maybe then we'll let you out
you might be dead and cold, you might be full of doubt
don't try to escape cuz you don't have nowhere to go
if nothing is your fate, there's no scenario

do you call my name
do you stain my brain
my eyes are blurry and I can't see you anymore
do you call my name
do you breed my pain
my heart is bloody and I can't take it anymore

so you just sit there stuck, afraid to risk reality
afraid to cause yourself more pain to face insanity
but nothing ventured nothing gained, you see your fear's your cage
you beg for help but you're alone, stuck in a helpless rage

do as you are told and maybe then we'll let you out
you might be dead and cold, you might be full of doubt
don't try to escape cuz you don't have nowhere to go
if nothing is your fate, there's no scenario

do you call my name
do you stain my brain
my eyes are blurry and I can't see you anymore
do you call my name
do you breed my pain
my heart is bloody and I can't take it anymore…

(From "Do You Call My Name" - Ra)

Saw the Disney/Pixar movie Cars last night...

Here's my review that I posted on Yahoo:

Overall Grade: A+
Story: A
Acting: A+
Direction: A+
Visuals: A+

Enough to make you forget gas woes!

Okay, this is a movie that is worth adding to your DVD collection (and the soundtrack is pretty awesome, too)! This was VERY well done, not juvenile at all - it sounds trite, but everything was perfect! Most will agree that with the previous six films, Pixar has proven itself to know what it's doing in computer animation; but IMHO, this film really outdoes all of their previous productions. I was truly amazed at the skill displayed in capturing the minute detail in everything, such as the shiny paint jobs of the cars, the reflection of the floodlights on their hoods during the night race, the spray of the waterfall, etc. - it looked much more technologically advanced than Monsters, Inc. or Toy Story (although that may not really be true - I'm no expert). The way the cars were made to look alive, with their facial expressions and "body language" (i.e., gesturing with their tires, like hands) was just spectacular. The plot itself was charming and fun to watch unfold, and while this is a children's movie, it contained many elements of "real people" films, with (family-friendly) adult concerns. It also had plenty of real car references and sounds - like whenever McQueen would start his engine - talk about cool! :) There were no gaps in the storyline, and the characters were just great - one felt familiar with all of them. It was pretty humorous too - it's kinda hard to get me to laugh from TV or movies, but there were a lot of genuinely funny things - and so I was that much more impressed. ;) Plus the audience learns quite a bit, such as some history of Route 66, and the degree of fanfare and sentiments surrounding race day and America's favorite drivers. ;) This was a lot of fun! ...Oh, and at the theater they gave my daughter a Cars "fun pack," which included a trading card/matching game with 20 cards, a "driver's license" with stickers, and a coupon for a free Icee at Target! Neato! ;þ

Here's a link to the review on Yahoo - not sure if this will work, but what the hey: http://movies.yahoo.com/mvc/dfurv?mid=1808626781&iid=7-4015595&s=rc_d&rvid=255-716718&i=0&ys=jYJdZcMkei2UEMmjVVBTeQ--

Listening to:

1) "Life is a Highway" - Rascall Flatts
2) "Route 66" - John Mayer
3) "Find Yourself" - Brad Paisley
4) "Real Gone" - Sheryl Crow

Consumable Performance Art *lol*

I posted this on my 360 page a few days ago...

If you have Yahoo as your home page, you’ve already seen this. But for everyone else, and for those of you who were too busy to click, let me bring this to your attention. It’s hilarious!

Do you fellow late gen-X/early gen-Y’ers remember the Pop Rocks/Pepsi scare (I really shouldn’t have to remind anyone that this was a hoax/urban legend, and Mikey is alive and well)? Well now, enter “pop-goes-the-geyser,“ part two…

“June 7, 2006

More than 100 2-liter bottles of Diet Coke. More than 500 Mentos. And two men in goggles and lab coats. You can imagine that this portends a fateful—and combustible—encounter. But perhaps you can't imagine just how combustible, nor how stylishly orchestrated. EepyBird compares the results to a 'mint-powered version of the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas.' A Blue Man Group-hijacking of Old Faithful comes to mind too, though certainly the Bellagio corners the market on geyser choreography—until EepyBird, that is. After you ogle the video, take in some of the earlier experiments, such as the one that 'didn't go quite according to plan' or the one that, gulp, 'seemed like a good idea.' If you find yourself wondering about the health repercussions of swigging a Diet Coke while mouthing a Mentos, EepyBird offers some reassuring science behind the explosively fresh soda/candy relationship.”

I’d start here: http://picks.yahoo.com/picks/i/20060607.html

To go straight to the video, go here (but I‘d recommend reading just a tad about it first): http://www.eepybird.com/dcm1.html

One writer’s comments on the Coke company‘s response to all of this - short, worth reading: “Coke Is An Idiot” http://news.yahoo.com/s/fool/20060612/bs_fool_fool/115014124318

A few simple words on surface tension and nucleation sites (the science of it all, y’all!): http://www.eepybird.com

And incidentally, one of my personal favorites from the food & humor category, lol: http://www.tomatoesareevil.com

Welcome to Earth

So I was playing with my daughter yesterday, and we were dancing in my office (sounds better in here than on the living room stereo) to songs she knew from hearing Mommy listen to and/or sing them (like MoZella, Stacie Orrico, Sonicflood, Jojo, Cascada and Madonna - but I don’t let her hear risqué ones). The first ones she requested were “Shark Tales,” which means “Gold Digger” (Ludacris) and “Car Wash” (Aguilera/Elliott). lol

She’s actually a really good dancer - I suppose from watching her shows that have “real” people in them - like “The Wiggles” (incidentally, while you could have gone the rest of your life without knowing this, I want to proclaim to the world that I have a crush on Greg, lol), “Lazy Town” (Mommy watches that, too - have you even seen Sportacus?! lol), and “Doodlebops” (ugh - to me they‘re like Teletubbies, only taller). (BTW what happened to “Out of the Box” on Disney? Eh bien.) So she starts out turning around, bending and hopping, waving her arms, etc. Then she puts two fingers in a “V” horizontally over her eyes and pulls them outward - where did she see that? lol Of course then she did the usual jumping around and butt wiggling, but then - then! - she swayed her hips like Britney!! OMG I could not believe it. lol I wouldn’t have known how to do that with my pelvis at 4 ½, lemme tell ya - can you just see Lady Aberlin from “Mister Rogers,” Maria from “Sesame Street,” or LeVar Burton from “Reading Rainbow” dancing like that? lmao But anyway it‘s times like these that neutralize the feelings I have when the tub drain curiously slows all of a sudden and it takes a $115 plumber bill to extract a bath crayon (they’re the same size as regular crayons) and a plastic Precious Moment figure. lmao

So I wonder if anyone’s planning any travel the rest of the year. Have you seen the deals/travel packages they have now? They’re totally falling over themselves competing for our business, folks. American Airlines will fly me round trip to Denver (my sister is in Westminster) for - get this - $135!!! Yes that’s in USD!! lol Unbelievable. I’d spend at least twice that driving there. And that’s a major airline, can you imagine how cheap it would be on one of the lesser-known ones? Anyway according to AOL, Denver happens to be the tenth most popular trip booked with AOL travel - and for good reason. :) So I might take my daughter to see her aunt in the fall. Then next year when I get my taxes back, I’m going (alone - trust me, I‘m due) to either Hawaii or somewhere I have to get a passport to enter, lol. I’ve been “feenin’” to go to a duty-free shop for, like, ever - the cosmetics they have are da bomb. lol Anyway to get those prices, all you have to do is be cool with the rules, like seasons (ranges of date of origin & date of departure - IOW when you can go) and penalties (most tix are non-refundable at this price, but if you’re like me and keep the plans you make then it’s no prob). Also, depending on how far you’re going, you might have one or two stopovers with the lower fares - but to me those are just extra fun anyway because you get to put another city on your “been there” resumé (yes it counts, especially if you get a postcard and a newspaper from there! lmao). Plus it gives you a couple hours (more or less) to get some walking in before having to be stationary for a while again. I think if I lived in the Windy, I’d go to O’Hare just to walk around and watch people taking off and arriving. I know, I’m a nut. But O’Hare rocks. It’s amazing. It’s GIGANTIC. They have TONS of restaurants and stores (53 and 14, respectively), a health club, and two mini museum exhibits (I went to the site for those numbers - http://www.flychicago.com/ohare/home.asp - click on concessions), among other things. They used to have their own Ty (Beanie Babies) store, too! lol Oh, and parking is really cheap there, too, interestingly enough. And it's easy to get around, the signs are easier to follow than I've seen at other airports. Oh, I could go on and on. lol Anyhoo. What an interesting rock we live on.

Before I forget - if you're interested in flying in to/out of Chicago, St. Louis, Milwaukee, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, DC, Orlando, NYC (and a few other US cities) and/or places like Aruba, Bermuda, Cancun, Cozumel, Montego Bay, Nassau, St. Martin, et al., check out www.USA3000.com.

Random musing: I wish I could disable the Insert key. I hate it.

Listening to "Ridin'" - Chamillionaire

Please consume in moderation

So here's a few pics of me since I've been tanning. http://jeep-in-berlin.livejournal.com/1100.html And a couple on the "front" page of my 360 page. http://profiles.yahoo.com/jep278

How many times does it take before you learn something? I'm talking about a lesson. About how to hurt yourself really bad. And how not to keep doing it. I'm so fucking stupid. Sometimes I hope people will care about something, and then when they don't, I get upset. This is how I'm an idiot.

Here's some drivel. It's been truncated.

Postponements and refusals have become my frequent guests
So tired of the letdowns and the damn raincheck requests
I do so many things for some, but they don’t realize
So tired of them not seeing when it’s right before their eyes
If they had only asked a simple question, they’d have known
So tired of wanting just to talk, yet getting a dial tone
If they had only looked a little longer, they’d have found
So tired of wishing to be rescued from this cold impound
Why can’t I just be leveled with and told what’s going on?
So tired of wasting all my time only to be stepped on
So many times I sacrificed and gave my very best
So tired of putting myself out for those who can’t care less
Wearing this happy face despite such treatment is so tiring
So tired of trying to keep my sense of self worth from expiring
Made to think I’m important, then blown off in the same breath
So tired of the reminders that no one would mourn my death

Listening to "Scars" - Papa Roach

3D Rendered Gummi Bears

If they had to make an imitation margarine, would it be called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter?”

So I’m wondering what my fellow online compatriots think about Windows Vista. No surprise that the launch date was moved back, eh? lol General consensus among published tecchies seems to be that it’s still not going to be a big deal, not a “revolution” like people are expecting. But I’m pretty excited about it anyway. With things to look forward to like the Aero Glass (3D rendered!) interface (alt-tab through thumbnails of yourr windows‘ contents! manna from heaven for togglers like me lol), the included new apps like IE7 (navigate all your open tabs using a page of - again - thumbnails! woohoo!), high speed desktop search, faster & easier networking (“XP’s network stack was based on technology that originally appeared when a 14.4 modem was cutting-edge… We love the plain-English error messages… We were able to download large files about 15 percent faster using Vista than we could on the same PC with Win XP… Vista even includes native support for the next-gen IPv6*protocol.”**), and :: drum roll please :: WinSAT (System Assessment Tool)*** - yes!, it’ll be more than enough of a revolution for this chick. I’m not hard to please. lol

While I’m on my beloved subject of IT, if you’re into this kind of thing, this is an interesting site to monitor - with some current amusing examples… (emphasis mine)

The Browser: Truth and Rumors from the Tech World

Biometrics foiled by Gummi Bears

They're sugary, adorable, and capable of foiling advanced security systems: A Japanese researcher has found that the gelatin used in Gummi Bears can also be used to make fake fingers that fool biometric fingerprint scanners. The research also found that it's a simple matter to lift a fingerprint from a glass, photograph it, and then imprint it onto a mold to create a duplicate fingerprint. This follows a study last year that found Play-Doh worked equally well. So much for plans by large retailers like Wal-Mart and Costco to let shoppers pay for purchases by scanning their fingers at the register.

Chicago cops hop on Segways

Remember the Segway? Soon, Windy City crooks will have trouble forgetting the much-derided scooters. Defense Tech reports that the Chicago Police Department is laying out $580,000 to triple the size of its Segway Human Transporter fleet to 150. Already, Chicago cops patrol the city's lakefront and airports on Segways. While Segways never became the mass-market hit inventor Dean Kamen hoped for, they found willing buyers in law-enforcement agencies -- so much so that Segway now makes a special model specifically for police. The Segway makes foot-patrol operations more efficient, without limiting cops' mobility the way car patrols do. The Browser has some unanswered questions: Do Segway cops have to make their own siren noise? And how, exactly, will riding around on a Segway instead of walking help more police officers pass the department's voluntary fitness test?

LOL! I can just see 'em riding "in pursuit" of a purse snatcher going "wooooooowooooooowooooooo!" lmao Anyway that’s at http://money.cnn.com/blogs/browser/?cnn=yes

-->>And also check out http://fuckedcompany.com hehheh


* Scarier than Y2K? lol See http://money.cnn.com/2006/05/19/technology/fastforward_fortune/index.htm and http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/09/mccurry.internet/index.html

** See “Vista’s Coming: Are You Ready?,” pp. 24-35, Maximum PC June 2006

*** “Say Goodbye to Mystery System Slowdown… We’ve all experienced it: Your once lightning-fast PC’s performance degrades over a period of months until it’s slower than molasses in January… Windows Vista’s System Assessment Tool aims to stop the mystery slowdowns forever by including both a means of analyzing your rig’s performance and a control panel that will help you troubleshoot and repair potential problems.” - from above-named article

Listening to: "8th World Wonder" - Kimberley Locke

The Links to My Life...lol

He-he-hey, alright! So this is my first blog on Blogger! I'm a blogger with a blogger blog now! lol So first I'm gonna list aaaaall my pages, just in case I ever get any traffic. :: snicker snort ::

1) http://profiles.yahoo.com/jep278 - This is my 360 page, with the largest number of blogs I've posted.

2) http://www.myspace.com/hesavedme78 - My Myspace page. Need I say more? lol

3) http://pics.livejournal.com/jeep_in_berlin - These are a couple of galleries of pics of me.

4) http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jep278/my_photos - I'm not sure this link will work, but my albums aren't showing up on my 360 page right now.

5) http://www.hotfoxonline.com/portillos78 - I've hardly done anything with this one, but check out the cursor, isn't it cute? ...So I guess you can tell by now what one o' my favorite foods is. I'm SO an American. lol

6) http://lowdosecriminal78.tripod.com/un_de_ces_jours - This is another blog, but I've only posted to it twice so far. I like to keep my options open, lol.

7) http://low-dose-crime.livejournal.com - Yet another blog; this one I've posted to several times.

8) http://kevan.org/johari?view=MyLDC1978 - This is my Johari window. Only five people have done it! Come onnnnnnn!

9) http://www.fasterlouder.com.au/profile/HeavilyBroken78 - A really cool site; this link is to the profile I filled out when I registered.

10) http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/christine1026 - This is my daughter's page. I update the journal every 60-90 days.